


The Girl And The Ghost

by phantomthief_fee



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: Beauty and the Beast AU, But lucky for him Hat Kid is here to help, Curses, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Found Family, Snatcher has a lot of issues, Vanessa is not a good girlfriend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2020-03-07 19:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18880009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomthief_fee/pseuds/phantomthief_fee
Summary: Long ago, a prince was cursed by his jealous princess. Years later, a little girl in a hat finds his castle.





	1. Prologue

_Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince and princess lived together in a shining castle. To their subjects, they were the perfect pair, both kind and compassionate toward their subjects and completely in love. But the princess’ heart grew jealous. She became controlling and cruel toward her prince, seeing signs of his infidelity everywhere she looked. The prince’s servants begged him to sever ties with her, to realize that she was no longer the princess he knew, but the prince clung to the hope that his princess was still there._

_One day, the prince went into town to buy some flowers for his princess. It was her birthday and he wished to surprise her. As soon as the princess saw the prince’s carriage leave the castle, she resolved to follow him. Surely the reason he had left without telling her was that he was going out to meet a secret lover. She followed her prince to the market, where she saw him buying flowers from the red-haired florist. The princess was distraught upon seeing the prince holding hands with the florist, refusing to acknowledge that he was simply handing her money for the flowers. When the prince returned, flowers in hand, the princess flew into a rage. The prince tried to reason with her, offering her a rose, but the princess would not listen to him. To her, this was proof that she had been right all along. Her prince had been unfaithful to her._

_As punishment for his supposed transgressions, she transformed him into a hideous beast, and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there. Once the spell was cast, she flew from the castle, still in a rage. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose he had offered became an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 31rst year. If one could learn to love him by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?_


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids do some crime

Hat Kid wanted a family. Her dream from the time she’d been very small had been to have a family of her very own. One like the kind she saw in picture books. A mom, a dad, her, and Bow. Because Bow was her sister, no matter what anyone else said. Tim, the man who ran the orphanage she and Bow had grown up in, had always assured her that she’d find a family of her own someday.

“Family isn’t just blood.” He’d often told them. “You choose your family.” Timmy, no relation to Tim, always rolled his eyes at this but Hat Kid took Tim’s words very seriously. And so, when she and Bow were ten, she decided that they needed to leave the orphanage and find their family. Tim had been worried about them going out on their own. He’d always told them that the world was a dangerous place and that they needed to be careful and cautious. Still, he knew that once Hat Kid set her mind on something she wasn’t easily swayed.

“Stay safe, you two.” He’d said, kissing them both on the forehead. “Harriet, take care of Bow. Bow, make sure Harriet doesn’t do anything reckless.”

“Yes, sir.” Bow had given him a mock salute while Hat Kid pouted at the insinuation that she was reckless. Tim gave them supplies for the road, food, water, blankets, and a map of the country. Then he’d sent them on their way.

They’d traveled for almost a week before finally arriving at the village that they current resided in. It was called Subcon and bordered on a massive forest that had quite a lot of strange rumors surrounding it. There they’d been taken in by a local florist named Peony who fed them, sheltered them, and kept them clothed. Peony was nice and all, and Hat Kid did like her, but she didn’t want to be a mother. Peony took care of Bow and Hat Kid, but she’d made it abundantly clear that she wasn’t looking to be a mother to anyone. Hat Kid didn’t take it personally. Besides, her quest for a family was on hold for the moment.

The town they lived in was run by the mafia, who weren’t all that fond of children and were even less fond of Peony. Luckily, Peony wasn’t the sort to back down when it came to threats. The mafia had **tried** to threaten her before, but it had never ended well for any of them. Hat Kid and Bow tried to stay away from the mafia most of the time. It was easier to avoid them rather than engage. Unfortunately, they’d made friends with a local girl named Mu who liked antagonizing the mafia whenever she could. Like Bow and Hat Kid, she was an orphan and lived with Peony, although that was mostly because Peony had found out Mu had been sleeping in an alley. She’d been born in this village, before the mafia had gotten there, and was determined to get revenge on them for what they’d done to her town. According to her and Peony, the mafia had only moved in 3 or 4 years ago, before Bow and Hat Kid had ever arrived.

“We used to have a couple of monarchs who ruled the area, but they disappeared a while back.” Peony had once said. “I don’t know what happened to them. They just vanished one day, and everyone forgot about them.” Hat Kid had wanted to ask why Peony hadn’t forgotten, but it seemed like Peony had only let slip this tidbit because she hadn’t been paying attention. She didn’t want to talk about the monarchs of the area. This only made Hat Kid even more determined to find out about these mysterious rulers.

That was what she was doing today. She’d snuck into the restricted area of the library with Mu and Bow to see if she could find any information. Well, the current library.

The original library building had been taken over by the Mafia Boss due to how large and lavish design. The current library was a small brick building on the outskirts of town. It had once been a grocery store, which was readily apparent when one took a look inside. The shelving units holding the books had once been used to hold food, and the desk to check out books had been where patrons paid for their groceries. The restricted area of the library was where the stock had been held, a massive warehouse area with a few bookcases holding the books the Mafia didn’t want open to the public.  

Mu had been pretty excited by the prospect of breaking and entering. Bow had not.

“We’re going to get in trouble!” She whispered as Mu managed to pop the lock off the back door.

“Psh! We’ll be fine!” Mu said, opening the door. “Those idiots never come back here! They probably don’t even know how to read!” Hat Kid stuck her head in, scanning the room for any signs of life. The one thing about the fact that it was so large and wide-open was that she could easily tell if there were people around. It looked as though it hadn’t been touched in ages. There was a thin layer of dust on the concrete floor and bookshelves, and cobwebs hung from the ceiling.

“Alright, the coast’s cl-” Hat Kid started to say, only to have Mu barge right in, kicking up large clouds of dust as she strode about.

“What’s so special about this stuff anyway?” She asked before launching into a sneezing fit because of the dust. Hat Kid stared at her for a moment before making an irritated noise, prompting an undignified snort from Bow.

“ _Technically_ there’s nothing special about it.” Hat Kid replied, dragging Bow in and shutting the door behind them. “But they might be able to tell me stuff about the people who used to be in charge. It’s pretty hard to just erase stuff from books.”

“How do you know?” Mu folded her arms, raising one eyebrow in an almost challenging manner.

“Well, you can’t just erase words.” Hat Kid said. “They’re printed in ink. So you’d have to just scribble over it or just rip the page out.”

“That sounds right.” Mu nodded sagely. “Okay. Let’s look for your weird nerd stuff.” She turned away from Hat Kid, starting to pick up books and flip through them.

“It’s not weird nerd stuff.” Hat Kid grumbled.

“Just let it go.” Bow whispered, gently patting Hat Kid’s back. Hat Kid let out a small huff, going to look through the books too. It didn’t take long for her mood to improve. Thankfully, as she’d hoped, the restricted books had the information she was looking for. They were thick tomes, bound in leather with yellowed and brittle pages. These books had detailed records of the royal family of the area, as well as a bit on the magic that tended to be practiced in the area. Hat Kid and Bow hadn’t been gifted with natural magical capabilities, but Tim had been rather well versed in time magic.

“This is so cool!” Hat Kid squealed, shoving one of the books in Bow’s face. “Look! It has stuff about all kinds of magic! Even the illegals kinds!”

“Really?” Bow’s face lit up. She didn’t like doing crime, but she loved learning about magic. Another reason Mu liked to call her and Hat Kid nerds.

“If we take this, we could figure out how to do magic!” Hat Kid pointed excitedly at a page. “Wouldn’t that be so cool?” Bow looked ready to agree, but her look of excitement quickly turned to one of worry.

“But what if Peony found it?” She asked. “She’d be really mad.”

“She’s not gonna find it.” Hat Kid scoffed, shoving the book into her bag. “I know how to hide stuff.”

“She found Mu’s chocolate stash.”

“That was only because the flies showed up!” Mu yelled from the other side of the room where she was poking at a spider in the corner. “I did a good job hiding it!”

“Chocolate is different than a book.” Hat Kid rolled her eyes. “It’ll be fine.”

“Peony always finds out.” Bow insisted.

“She’s not going to find out.” Hat Kid insisted with a frown. “Now let’s keep looking.”

“She’s going to find out.” Bow whispered, but not loud enough that Hat Kid could hear.

It took Hat Kid a little before she finally found the book that had the most recent generation of royals. While she’d initially been excited by the amount of information, she was finding a lot of it was kind of useless. Whoever had recorded these things had written down literally everything. Nobody wanted to know about Reginald VI’s weird obsession with cheese. At least, Hat Kid didn’t want to know about the weird cheese obsession.

“Why is royalty so weird?” She muttered to herself as she flipped the page. Okay, this should be the page with the current royals. She stopped, then flipped back a page, then flipped forward again.

“What the-?” Hat Kid stared at the page in disbelief.

“What’s wrong?” Bow asked.

“The entry’s all weird!” Hat Kid jabbed her finger at the entry. The birthdates of the royals were listed, but that was practically the only clear thing. The words on the page were smudged, as though water had been spilled on them. But there was no sign of water damage on any other pages. And the portraits that were supposed to be on the pages were just not there. The gilded frames were simply empty.

“That **is** weird.” Bow agreed, her brow furrowing. “Are any of the other pages like that?”

“No! It’s just this one!” Hat Kid slammed the book shut, shoving it into her bag with the other one.

“Are you nerds done? I’m bored.” Mu announced. She’d managed to throw all the books off of one table and was now laying on it, staring up at the ceiling. There wasn’t much to look at on the ceiling. Just more spiderwebs and a few nests of birds that had flown in.

“Not yet.” Bow said as she gently patted Hat Kid’s back. “Maybe another book can tell you something.”

“Okay…” Hat Kid allowed her sister to lead her to another bookshelf. She was still fuming a little. She’d broken in here for nothing!

“What are you children doing in here?” A voice suddenly came from behind Bow and Hat Kid. Both girls jumped, turning frantically around to find the librarian standing there. The librarian was a rather unsettling being who had previously sold badges before taking over the library. Most called them the Badge Seller due to their former occupation. It wasn’t clear what they were since the visible parts of their body were dark purple and it didn’t seem like they had any face behind their strange mask.

Hat Kid’s heart was pounding. How had they come in without them hearing? Those big doors creaked loudly. She knew because she’d tried to sneak back here from the library proper a few times.

“H-Hello, sir.” Hat Kid laughed nervously. Bow squeaked and clung to Hat Kid’s arm. Mu unceremoniously fell off the table, kicking up more dust.

“You should not be back here.” The Badge Seller said, staring down at Bow and Hat Kid with their one glowing eye. “There are fragile items that should be touched.”

“We were just looking for some books.” Hat Kid put up her hands. “We’ll get out of your hair now.” She moved to run but was quickly grabbed by her cape.

“Hey! Put me down!” She heard Mu yelling.

“Red hood girl should stop kicking or she will fall on her face.” Hat Kid’s heart sunk at the familiar voice.

“Peck.” She muttered. Peony was going to be so pissed.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat Kid gets an idea.

When Peony opened the door, she found two mafia goons holding the three children she sheltered by their collars. She wished this was the first time this scenario had played out.

“What did they do this time?” She asked.

“Little girls sneak into part of library they are not supposed to be in. Librarian is not happy.” The first mafia goon said. Peony stared at the girls with tired resignation.

“Thank you for bringing them back.” She sighed. “I’ll take care of this.” The mafia goons nodded, dumping the girls on the ground and departing. Peony closed the door, turning back to the girls.

“Alright, whose idea was it?”

All fingers pointed at Hat Kid, who was trying desperately to hide beneath her hat. Thankfully, neither the Badge Seller nor the mafia goons had found the books she’d taken. That wasn’t going to save her from Peony’s disapproval.

“Huh.” Peony raised an eyebrow. “It’s usually Mu’s idea.”

“Hey!” Mu protested, jumping up.

“Doing crimes is usually your idea.” Bow said weakly.

“So, why’d you break into the library?” Peony asked, turning her attention to Hat Kid. She had her patented disapproving look, arms crossed and foot tapping.

“I wanted to find out about the royals no one talks about.” Hat Kid crossed her arms right back at her. “You weren’t going to tell me and I was pretty sure the library had some stuff.” Peony stared at her, getting very quiet. Her look of disapproval had shifted to an unreadable one. She almost looked…sad. All three girls were a little taken aback by this strange expression.

“You don’t want to go looking into them, Harriet.” Peony said after a long period of silence. Hat Kid was even more freaked out by this. Peony never called her Harriet. Never.

“Why?” Hat Kid asked, her voice wavering a bit. Peony sighed heavily. It wasn’t the usual exasperated sigh that came from her. She sounded…defeated. Bow was slowly backing away, as was Mu. They’d gotten past the dining room table Peony had shoved in the main room. Both had almost tripped over the chairs as they’d walked backward. 

“Nothing good ever comes from getting involved with them,” Peony said, touching her gloved hand. Peony always wore a glove on her left hand. Hat Kid had never seen her without it.

“Did they…do something to you?” Hat Kid asked quietly. Peony looked at the girls, then at her glove. She sighed again and took off her glove. Hat Kid let out a small yell, stumbling back. Mu screamed and ran out of the room. Bow just stood frozen. Peony’s hand, all the way up to a little above her wrist, was black and purple. It almost looked like the pictures Hat Kid had seen of frostbite.  But Peony could still use her hand and her fingers hadn’t fallen off.

“The princess cursed me.” Peony turned her hand over, regarding it wearily. “At least, she tried to. She probably meant to kill me, but someone came by before she could finish.”

“What does the curse do then?” Hat Kid drew closer, peering curiously at Peony’s hand.

“Does it hurt?” Bow asked quietly.

“No, it doesn’t hurt. Mostly it just makes me sick.” Peony replied. “My lifespan’s probably been drastically shortened.” Hat Kid frowned as she stared at the cursed mark.

“What if…I broke the curse?” She asked slowly.

“Hattie!” Bow hissed, running over to grab her sister’s sleeve.

“It’s dangerous to deal with her, especially when it comes to her magic.” Peony put her glove back on. “Don’t go looking for trouble, kid. Curiosity killed the cat and all that.”

“But satisfaction brought it back.” Hat Kid shot back. This elicited a small smile and a snort from Peony, but both expressions were soon gone.

“Please, don’t go looking for the princess.” She said. “I don’t want you to get hurt.” And, without another word, she left. As soon as she was gone, Hat Kid turned to Bow with a determined look.

“I’m gonna go find the princess.”

Bow let out a small whimper, resting her head in one hand. “Didn’t you listen to Peony? It’s dangerous! You’re gonna get cursed!”

“I just won’t get cursed then.” Hat Kid put her hands on her hips, completely confident that this was something that she could do.

“I…Don’t think that’s how it works.” Bow said slowly. “Seriously, this is dangerous.”

“I have to break the curse!” Hat Kid insisted. “I’m sure Peony didn’t deserve to get cursed! Besides, I want to know why the princess cursed her!” Bow stared at Hat Kid with an almost defeated expression.

“You’re not giving this up, are you?”

“Nope!”

Bow groaned. “At least wait until tomorrow. It’s starting to get dark.”

“Okay.” Hat Kid nodded, starting to head for the bedroom. She needed to get some supplies together anyway. Who knew what the forest might hold.

“And be careful,” Bow added, following behind her. “That forest is supposed to have wolves!”

“I’ll be fine.” Hat Kid waved a hand dismissively. “I survived the trek over here. I’ll survive this.” Bow just hoped she was right. She didn’t want to lose the only family she’d ever had.

In their bedroom, Mu was freaking out. What the Hell had that thing on Peony’s arm been?! She’d always wondered why Peony wore gloves all the time, but she hadn’t thought it would be something like this! Peony had said something about a princess…She must have been talking about someone living in the castle in the forest. She’d seen it when she’d gone exploring a few times. People didn’t live in that forest. The only thing there was monsters. She couldn’t let Hat Kid go in there. She’d end up killed! Or worse!

“I’ve gotta burn down that forest,” Mu muttered to herself. Those monsters couldn’t be allowed to hurt anyone. Especially not her town.


	4. Chapter 3

The next day, when Peony went off to her flower shop and Mu left to terrorize the mafia, Hat Kid made for the forest. The flower shop was on the other end of town from Peony’s house, as was the original library building that Mu liked to graffiti, so they’d likely be gone for a while. Bow was coming with her too, but just to the forest’s edge. She didn’t want to go wandering around in the spooky maybe haunted forest. Plus, Hat Kid needed her to stay behind and cover for her if Peony and Mu got suspicious. Which they invariably would.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Bow asked for what felt like the millionth time as they approached the edge of the forest.

“I’m sure.” Hat Kid rolled her eyes. “It’s going to be fine, Bow. You don’t need to worry.”

“Yes, I do!” Bow said. “Whenever you go off on your own you end up getting in trouble!”

“I do not!” Hat Kid huffed.

Bow stopped, giving her an incredulous look. “Our first day here, you attacked the mafia with an umbrella and I had to rescue you.”

“They took Mu’s cookie and they needed to pay!”

“I’m just saying.” Bow sighed. “I worry about you.” She was playing with her cardigan, worrying on a loose thread. She needed to repair it eventually, but she hadn’t felt like it lately.

“I know.” Hat Kid stopped walking, turning back to her sister. Bow stopped as well. They were almost at the edge of the forest now, the grass getting longer, littered with pine cones and fallen leaves. For a moment or two, they just stood there in silence, listening to the sound of the birds and insects.

“I don’t want to lose you.”  Bow said quietly, staring down at her feet. Hat Kid was all she had. All she’d ever had. If she lost her, she lost everything.

“You won’t.” Hat Kid assured her with a gentle smile. She hugged Bow tightly, patting her back. “I’m gonna go find that princess and then I’m gonna come back. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

“Whenever you say that stuff goes wrong.” Bow mumbled, hugging Hat Kid back. She was trying to fight back a smile herself. She would always trust Hat Kid, no matter what. No matter how many bad situations her sister led her into, she would always trust Hat Kid.

“Boooowww!” Hat Kid groaned, flopping all over Bow. “Pleeeeaaassseee. You gotta trust meeee.” Bow rolled her eyes at this but it did elicit a smile.

“Just stay safe, okay?” She said, putting Hat Kid back on her feet.

“Will do!” Hat Kid did a mock salute. “Hopefully, I’ll be back before dinner! If I’m not, make excuses!”

“I hate lying.” Bow said, but Hat Kid was already bounding into the woods. Bow sighed, watching her sister’s purple hat disappear into the brush. She wasn’t looking forward to when Peony and Mu found out about this. Mu was fiercely protective of the people she cared about, and she cared about Bow and Hat Kid a lot. Peony was just plain scary, but it was even worse when she was just disappointed. Bow groaned to herself, starting to head back to town. This wasn’t going to be fun.

.

Everyone always said to stay away from Subcon Forest. There were supposedly wolves and bears and all manner of unsightly creatures. But that wasn’t the real reason. People said monsters lived in the woods. One who stole travelers away and ate their souls, one who froze trespassers and kept them as statues, others whose appearances were strange and intentions unknown. Hat Kid had heard a few of the monster stories, but not enough to associate the forest with Death. Besides, the stories were just that. Stories. They weren’t real. They couldn’t be.

So she made her way through the forest, humming to herself. It couldn’t be **that** hard to find a princess, could it? Princesses lived in castles and castles were big and easy to find. Everything was going to be fine. She’d find the princess and then demand that the princess break the curse on Peony. She had great confidence that she’d be able to get the princess to see her side of things, even though Peony had literally said the princess had meant to kill her. She was a very persuasive person, or so she’d been told. Mostly because she was incredibly persistent and tended to annoy people into doing what she wanted. It had worked before and it would work again. This would be easy-peasy.

However, the longer she wandered through the forest, the more her confidence began to plummet. The further in she got, the less sunlight there was. It almost seemed like the forest was stuck in some kind of perpetual night. Nooses hung from the trees, huge spiders skittered across the branches, and she kept hearing strange voices at the edge of her perception. It was also cold. Incredibly so. It was summer on the outside, but it felt almost like the beginning of winter within the forest. She could even see snow in the distance. Her breath billowed in front of her in big clouds.

“H-Hello?” She squeaked, trying desperately to sound like she wasn’t scared. “I’m, um, I’m looking for the princess?” A growl from deeper within the forest caused her to jump. It sounded a bit like that of an animal, but deeper and almost…human. Obviously, _something_ was there with her. Hat Kid screwed up her face in determination.

“She- She cursed my friend!” She raised her voice a bit. “And I want to get her to break it! Or just get rid of it!”

“Didn’t your parents ever tell you not to go walking alone, kid?” The voice that spoke seemed to come from all around her, whispering through the leaves and bouncing off the trees. She was pretty sure it was a man’s voice. It had a weird echoey quality to it, though.

“Jokes on you!” Hat Kid put her hands on her hips. “I don’t have parents!” There was a beat of silence before the voice spoke again.

“Yeesh, kid. That’s depressing.” He laughed. “What, were they having a buy-one-get-one-free for tragic backstories?” Hat Kid felt her face beginning to burn at the laughter. It was the kind of laughter she’d heard from adults who’d come to the orphanage who’d told her she was “unadoptable”.

“Were they having a sale at the…the jerk store?!” She shot back. “‘Cause you’re being a jerk!”

“That the best you can do, kiddo?” The unseen man started to snicker.

“Shut up!” Hat Kid stamped her foot.

“I mean, come on. The jerk store? Really? **That** was your best comeback?”

“I’m very tired!”

The man’s laughter started to build in volume, becoming a booming cackle. It echoed all around her as the shadows moved and encircled her. The forest around her was obscured by blackness, leaving her in the sole patch of light in the clearing.

“You have no idea what you’ve walked into, kid.” The man’s voice suddenly sounded incredibly sinister. “This is **my** forest.” Hat Kid whimpered, drawing into herself. She frantically looked around, trying to find a way out. Bow had been right. This had been a bad idea. Gods, why didn’t she just listen to Bow all the time?

“Do you know what I do to trespassers in my forest, kid?” The man’s voice came from all around her, slithering and soft.

“You…let them go?” Hat Kid smiled nervously. The man laughed again, the sound sending shivers down her spine.

“Nice try. But no.” The man got very quiet. “I. Kill. Them.” Hat Kid’s blood ran cold.

“FOOL!” Suddenly a ghostlike creature popped out at her from the shadows, with glowing eyes and what appeared to be fangs. Its expression was indescribably horrifying, enough to terrify the most stoic of adventurers. Hat Kid screamed and ran, immediately running into a tree and knocking herself unconsciousness. The ghost creature stopped, its expression turning puzzled. The shadows abruptly vanished, leaving the clearing mostly normal.

“Kid? You okay?” He asked, poking her with one long finger. Hat Kid didn’t move. The ghost creature groaned, running a hand over his face.

“For the love of- Not again.” He muttered, starting to score the dirt with his claws. “Why do they always run?” He sounded the least bit concerned, although he was trying desperately to hide it under annoyance.

“What did you do this time?” A woman asked from the foliage to his left.

“Nothing!” The ghost creature insisted as a cat wearing a chef’s outfit, complete with hat, clambered out of a bush.

“Uh-huh.” The cat gave the ghost an incredulous look. “Because it looks to me like you were trying to scare this little girl.” The ghost deliberately avoided her eyes, digging in the dirt a bit more.

“…I…might have been doing that?” He said slowly. “But **she** came in here! It’s my job to scare people who trespass in my forest! It’s **my** forest!”

“I could have sworn your job was to take care of your subjects.” The cat knelt beside Hat Kid, gently patting her face. “She’s out cold, poor baby.” She looked back at the ghost with a decidedly disapproving look in her eyes.

“Hey, I didn’t lay a finger on her.” The ghost put his hands up. “She ran into the tree.” The cat rolled her eyes, picking up Hat Kid.

“What…What are you doing?” The ghost asked.

“I’m taking her back to the castle.” The cat said. It was a bit difficult to move through the bushes and the like with a girl in her arms, but she was managing it as best she could. Even if the branches kept catching on both of their clothing.

“What?! Why?!” The ghost floated after her. He had no such struggles navigating the bushes and undergrowth.

“She’ll freeze to death on her own.” The cat replied. “You can play cruel all you like, but I know you wouldn’t want a little girl’s death on your conscience.” The ghost avoided her gaze again as his cheeks turned a darker shade of purple.

“I’m not letting her stay too long.” He said. “I’m not running a charity here.”

“Yes, yes.” The cat smiled knowingly. “Whatever you say.”


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snatcher should not be allowed to talk to children

Hat Kid woke up in a bed that was definitely not hers. She sat up abruptly, looking frantically around. The bedroom she was in was breathtaking, like something out of a fairytale picture book. There were high ceilings, furnishings, huge velvet curtains, a giant mirror. The bed she’d woken up in was a big four-poster one with see-through curtains, lots of pillows, and sheets nicer than anything Hat Kid had ever seen in her life.

“Whoa.” She whispered. She felt like it was too nice to be sleeping on. Like she was bringing its value down just by touching it with her filthy hands. Wait…She looked down at her hands. They were clean. She was certain she’d been all dirty and dusty from trudging through the woods all day. And these weren’t her clothes! She was wearing a nightgown that was softer than anything she’d ever worn before and had cute little lace and ribbon decorations. Had someone washed and dressed her?

“Weird.” She wrinkled her nose, clambering out of the bed. Once she was off the bed, she started exploring the room, looking for anything to tell her where she was. Despite its lavish appearance, the room was surprisingly bare. There were a few outfits here size in the large wardrobe, but the drawers of the dressers were empty and there was nothing in the bedside table. There were no paintings of people, no photographs.

“Something’s going on here.” Hat Kid said to herself, tapping her chin. If only she had her detective hat. She always detected better with it on. As she made a pass around the room again, she heard voices speaking out in the hallway. She crept toward the door, listening to the voices on the other side.

“Please, at least try to be nice to her while she’s here.” A woman was saying. “Who knows how long this blizzard will last. She could be here a while.”

“The blizzard’ll let up soon. **She’s** just having another tantrum.” A different voice replied. It was strange, unlike any voice Hat Kid had ever heard before. She was pretty sure it was a man’s voice, but it was all distorted and echoey. It was the voice of the creature that had scared her in the woods.

“Well, even if it does, I’d still like you to be nice to the girl.” The woman sighed.

“I don’t have to listen to you!” The ghost creature snapped.

“True, you don’t _have_ to, but I’m the one who makes your food. And I can withhold your bacon.” Hat Kid tried to stifle a giggle at the absolute smugness radiating from the woman’s voice. There was a sharp intake of breath, presumably from the ghost, then an irritated groan.

“Fine. I’ll be **_nice_**.” He growled. “But that little brat’s not staying more than a week.”

“We’ll see how long the blizzard lasts.” The woman said.

The ghost groaned again. “Whatever. And kid? You can come out now. We’re done talking.”

Hat Kid stiffened, then sheepishly pushed the door open. Sure enough, there was the ghost in the hallway. And beside him was…

“A talking cat!” Hat Kid screamed. Said talking cat was a small portly orange cat wearing a chef’s outfit. She gave off the undeniable aura of a mother, both comforting and ready to tell you off.

“Hello, honey.” The cat smiled warmly.

“Ohmygoshyou’reatalkingcat.” Hat Kid gasped, her eyes going wide. This was absolutely the coolest thing. She’d always wanted to meet a talking animal.

“Man, you’re pretty easily impressed, huh?” The ghost smiled but the smile inevitably came across as a smirk due to his, well, everything. “I bet I could blow your mind with some amateur magic. Wouldn’t even need to use my powers.”

“Snatcher.” The cat swatted at the ghost’s arm before turning back to Hat Kid. “I’m sorry about him. We haven’t had guests in a long time.” She held her paw out to Hat Kid. “I’m Cookie.”

“Your name is **_Snatcher_**?” Hat Kid asked incredulously as she shook Cookie’s paw.

“Yours is Hat Kid. You don’t get to throw stones.” Snatcher sneered.

“Wait, you know my name?!” Hat Kid stumbled back.

“It’s embroidered on the brim of your hat,” Snatcher said. “I mean, seriously, who embroiders their name in their clothing? What are you, 12?” Cookie swatted at his arm again.

“Oh. Yeah.” This calmed her for a moment, but some new questions quickly arose. “Wait- Where **is** my hat?!”

“Oh, they’re being washed by the seals right now.” Cookie explained. “I hope you don’t mind. Your clothes were filthy.”

“The seals?” Hat Kid frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“The seals run the laundry room. They’re sweethearts, but they’re not very good when it comes to delicate tasks. They’re children, after all. They like to play.” Cookie sighed and shook her head. “It’s a good thing the Captain is down there, otherwise I’m afraid the castle might get filled with suds.” Hat Kid just stared at her. She was talking like the seals had human-level intelligence and sapience.  

“There’s a lot of weird stuff in the castle, kid.” Snatcher snickered at her confusion. “Those seals are the least of it.” Hat Kid glared at him. Whoever this guy was, he was annoying.

“Alright, let’s move on.” Cookie got between the two of them, shooting Snatcher a warning look. “We’re not going to get anywhere if you two keep bickering.” Hat Kid and Snatcher both grumbled, but they backed off.

“Now, would you like a tour of the castle?” Cookie asked, turning to Hat Kid. “You might be here for a little bit. A blizzard’s started up and I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting you go out in it.”

“We’re in a castle?” Hat Kid’s eyes widened before a thought suddenly struck her. “Wait, um, does the princess live here? I’m looking for the princess.”

“Oh yeah. You did say that.” Snatcher started to examine his claws as though he was bored with the whole situation.

“She said she was looking for _her_?” Cookie asked, suddenly sounding more than a bit nervous.

“Yeah. Said her friend got cursed or something.” Snatcher shrugged. “What’s the big deal? It’s not like she’s the first person to try and find her royal pain in the-”

“She’s a child!” Cookie hissed, lowering her voice and casting furtive glances at Hat Kid. Hat Kid could still hear Cookie just fine, though.

“What’s wrong?” She demanded. “Why can’t I see the princess?”

“The princess tends to be a bit…unpredictable.” Cookie forced a smile. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go looking for her, honey.”

“I just want to talk to her.” Hat Kid insisted. “I want her to break the curse on my friend.”

Snatcher started to laugh. “Good luck with that. I doubt you’ll get five feet before she turns you into an ice statue.”

“An…An ice statue?” Hat Kid squeaked. No one had said anything about ice statues, nor about her getting turned into one.

“What? You thought she just cursed people?” Snatcher laughed derisively. “Oh no, kiddo. She’s got crazy ice powers. You have any idea how many saps she’s turned into statues over the years? You go looking for her, you’re going to end up just like that.”

“Snatcher!” Cookie grabbed his hand, trying to pull him back.

“I…I’m not gonna die!” Hat Kid tried to stop her voice from faltering.

“That’s what all the others said.” Snatcher slipped out of Cookie’s grasp to float in front of Hat Kid. “Know where they are now?”

“N-No?”

“They’re ice statues in her castle.” Snatcher’s smile widened to an almost creepy degree. “But, hey. If you want to throw your life away, that’s fine with me. No skin off my nose.” Hat Kid stared at him for a moment, then started to loudly sniffle.  

“Alright, that’s enough.” Cookie gathered Hat Kid to her chest, patting the girl’s back as she began to cry. Snatcher floated back, folding his arms.

“I’m just telling her the risks.” He said. “You _said_ you didn’t want her to die.”

“Go to your room.” Cookie turned away from him, starting to lead Hat Kid down the hallway.

“Wha-? You can’t just tell me to do that!” Snatcher sputtered.

“Go. To. Your. Room.” Cookie turned her head ever so slightly so that she could glare at him. Snatcher muttered something and floated away, disappearing through a wall.

“I’m sorry about him, honey.” Cookie’s voice softened. “He shouldn’t act like that. He knows better.” Hat Kid just continued to cling to Cookie as she cried.


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat Kid gets her clothes and meets some of the inhabitants of the castle.

****

Once Hat Kid had stopped crying, Cookie started her tour of the castle in the hopes that that would cheer her up.

“We’ll start in the laundry room.” Cookie said. “I just know the seals will cheer you up. And if they’re finished with your clothes, you can put them back on.”

“Okay.” Hat Kid nodded dejectedly. Cookie’s ears drooped.

“I’m sorry about him.” She said, drawing Hat Kid to her chest in a hug. “He shouldn’t have said that to you. I’ve told him he needs to be nicer to people.”

“He’s a buttface.” Hat Kid muttered.

Cookie couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, yes he is.”

Hat Kid smiled a little at Cookie’s laugh. She had a nice laugh. And her fur was so soft. Hat Kid kind of wanted to snuggle up and fall asleep against her. She’d just woken up, though, so it wasn’t time to go to bed again.

“So, um, who else lives here?” Hat Kid asked as Cookie led her through the castle. She could hear other people’s voices echoing off the stone hallways.

“Oh, a lot of people.” Cookie said, starting to count on her paws. “There’s the castle staff, myself included, the Dwellers, the Captain and his seals. And now you!” She poked Hat Kid’s nose.

“I mean, I don’t know if I’m **living** here.” Hat Kid frowned slightly. “I’m just trying to find the princess.”

“Right. Of course.” Cookie’s smile fell.

The journey down to the laundry room was mostly silent. On their way down, they passed a lot of strange creatures in cloaks. They were small and purple, about the same size of Hat Kid, and had an orb of light inside the head of their cloaks. They spoke in distorted high-pitched voices and waved excitedly to Hat Kid and Cookie as they passed.

“Who’re they?” Hat Kid asked, pointed to the cloaked creatures.

“We call them Subcon Dwellers.” Cookie said with a sad smile. “They were children once.” Hat Kid didn’t ask what that meant. She was afraid of what the answer would be.

Thankfully, the laundry room wasn’t much further. Upon Cookie opening the door, both of them were greeted with a flood of bubbles drifting up from the center of the room. Cookie sighed and shook her head, smiling to herself.

“Captain? Is everything alright?” She called out. There was a long drawn out sigh from deeper inside.

“Just fine.” A gruff voice replied. “The seals just had a bit of an…accident.”

“Oh dear.” Cookie stifled a giggle. She headed inside, starting down the staircase that circled the room. Hat Kid quickly followed behind. The laundry room was a large cylindrical room with a staircase around it and the washing machines in the center. The machines were overflowing with bubbles and suds, the floor covered in both. A walrus wearing a nautical captain’s hat and jacket sat on a chair in the middle of the chaos, surrounded by a dozen white baby seals. Almost immediately upon seeing them, Hat Kid squealed and ran down to pick one up.

“You’re so cute!” She squished the seal’s cheeks. “So cute and fluffy and soft!!”

“Thank woo miss.” The seal said in the kind of voice one mostly associated with overly cutesy cartoon characters. Hat Kid squealed again, hugging the seal to her chest.

“A visitow?” Another seal asked. “We nevew get visitows!” The seals all excitedly began to congregate around Hat Kid as Cookie reached the bottom of the stairs.

“This is the girl from the forest.” The Captain gestured toward Hat Kid.

“Yes, this is her.” Cookie nodded. “Are her clothes done?”

“On the washer. Seals managed to get ‘em done before they overloaded the washers.”

“Thank you, Captain.” Cookie bowed her head to him before going to retrieve Hat Kid’s clothes. Hat Kid was still fawning over the seals, all of whom were absolutely delighted by this new person.

“You’re so fluffy! How are you so fluffy?!” Hat Kid was sitting down in the suds now, letting the seals flop all over her.

“Your clothes are done when you’re ready.” Cookie went to sit on the stairs.

“Okay!”

They spent about half an hour with the seals before the Captain announced that he and the seals needed to fix the washers before they were permanently damaged. The seals were saddened that their new friend had to leave, but they understood.

“You can talk to her more later.” He reassured the dejected seals. “I doubt she’s going anywhere with the storm going on.”

“Okay! See woo latew Miss!” The seals waved to Hat Kid as she left. Her nightgown was pretty soaked by this point, so Cookie took her back to the bedroom she’d woken up in so she could change.

“Did somebody used to live here?” Hat Kid asked, pointing around the room. “It’s really empty.”

“It was a guest room.” Cookie said. “Snatcher’s friend used to sleep here when she visited. But…She hasn’t visited for quite a while.” She turned her gaze away from Hat Kid, instinctively beginning to play with her hat.

Hat Kid briefly paused in getting her clothes on. “Did something happen?”

Cookie nodded. Hat Kid waited for Cookie to explain, but the cat didn’t. She just kept playing with her hat, staring at the floor. Hat Kid frowned, going back to getting dressed. Once she had her hat on, she tapped Cookie on the shoulder.

“Okay, I’m done.” She gave her a big smile.

“Alright.” Cookie put her hat back on. “Let’s get back to the tour.” Hat Kid nodded, allowing Cookie to lead her back out. The look on the cat’s face had reminded her of a look Tim had gotten when someone had asked him about his children. Hat Kid didn’t know what had happened to Tim’s children, but she knew it had been something that made him very sad and that he didn’t want to talk about. Something had happened in the castle that Cookie didn’t want to talk about it, Hat Kid was sure of it. Normally, she would have tried to figure out what it was…But Cookie looked so sad. So distraught. Did she really want to rip open what must have been a deep wound?

The sound of an argument snapped her out of her thoughts. It sounded like two men yelling at each other. Well, one man yelling at the other, who was responding fairly calmly. The yelling man sounded very Scottish. Hat Kid had never met someone from Scotland.

“Oh dear.” Cookie sighed. “They’re at it again.”

“Who’s at it again?” Hat Kid asked as they came into view of the argument. Standing in the middle of the hallway were two birds. Two human-sized birds wearing clothes. One was a penguin, dressed like some kind of 70’s disco DJ, complete with a huge afro. The other was…a chicken? An owl? She wasn’t really sure. Either way, he was dressed like a train conductor.

“Gentlemen!” Cookie loudly cleared her throat. The birds stopped arguing, turning to face her.

“Thank you.” Cookie smiled warmly, gently pushing Hat Kid forward. “This is Hat Kid. She’s going to our guest while the blizzard is going on.”

“Hi.” Hat Kid waved.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, darling.” The penguin did a spin before bowing to her. Hat Kid’s eyes went wide and she immediately smushed his cheeks between her hands.

“You are the coolest person I’ve ever met.” She whispered.

“Why, thank you, darling.” The penguin said, his voice a bit muffled by his squished cheeks.

“What?!” The conductor bird screeched. “Why is **he** the cool one?!”

“Conductor, darling, you might want to use your inside voice.” The penguin gently removed Hat Kid’s hands from his cheeks. “We wouldn’t want to damage our guest’s eardrums.”

“What makes **him** so ‘cool’!?” The Conductor persisted, folding his arms. “I can be cool too!”

“He’s got a cool outfit and cool hair.” Hat Kid said. “And fun sunglasses You look like a grandpa.” The penguin and Cookie stifled giggles as the Conductor started to loudly sputter.

“To be fair, darling, you _are_ a grandfather.” The penguin gasped out in between bursts of laughter. "It's only natural you would look like one."

“That doesn’t me I can’t be cool, you peckneck!” The Conductor yelled, stamping his foot. “I’m just as cool as you, **_DJ Grooves_**!” The way he said the penguin’s name was likely supposed to be filled with malice, but instead sounded like an upset child.

“Of course, darling.” Grooves slid over to pat the Conductor’s head and kiss his cheek. The Conductor grumbled to himself but calmed upon the contact.

“Are they, like, dating?” Hat Kid whispered. She didn’t have a lot of examples of relationships, so she wasn’t sure if she was seeing the wrong signs. Because they’d been arguing, but then Grooves had kissed the Conductor?

“Sort of.” Cookie put up her hands out in a show of surrender. “They certainly aren’t going admit it, though.”

“But…Why were they arguing?”

“They just like it. I doubt they were arguing about anything significant.” Cookie glanced back at the two birds. The Conductor was still sulking while Grooves comforted him.

"I can too be cool." The Conductor grumbled to himself. "I'm hip. I know...stuff."

"Of course you are, darling." Grooves nodded and kept stroking the Conductor's feathers. "You're very cool. You know so much about trains."

“Let’s move along.” Cookie suggested. “I think they need some time to themselves.”

“Okay.” Hat Kid nodded, looking at the birds too. Adults were so weird.


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat Kid discovers hints about Snatcher's tragic backstory and gets some mac and cheese from the local Cooking Cat

“Do you have a library here?” Hat Kid asked as Cookie led her away once more. “I like reading.”

“We do.” Cookie said. “But I don’t know if you’d find anything interesting there. It’s mostly law books.”

“Law books?” Hat Kid wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Those are boring!” She’d seen a few in the library in town. Peony had tried to redirect Mu’s whole ‘justice’ thing in that direction. But the law books were long and had a lot of words and Mu was 12.

“Yes, well, Snatcher was studying law before…this…” Cookie trailed off, biting her lip.

“Before this?” Hat Kid frowned, tilting her head to the side.

“It’s a long story.” Cookie said. “Why don’t we go to the kitchen? I’m sure you’re hungry. I can make you something to eat.” Hat Kid was about to protest when her stomach started growling.

“Well, it sounds like that’s a yes.” Cookie couldn’t help but laugh.

“I guess I am kinda hungry.” Hat Kid admitted. She hadn’t eaten anything since she’d left Peony’s house.

“Then let’s get you some food.” Cookie said.

And so Hat Kid was led down to the kitchen. She dedicated her attention to studying the hallways while Cookie led her. There wasn’t much in terms of decoration. There were weapons on the walls at various points, and some landscape paintings, but nothing with people in it. She’d expected tapestries and stuff.

“Why’s everything so bare?” She asked as she walked behind Cookie.

“There used to be quite a lot of family portraits.” Cookie explained. “But Snatcher took them down.”

“Why?”

“He was having a bit of a moody teenager moment.” Cookie laughed wearily. “Which wasn’t a good look for a 21-year-old man, but, well…” She shrugged. “It was warranted I guess.”

“How old is Snatcher anyway?” It was hard to know since he looked like a big purple noodle ghost.

“He’s…30.” Cookie said, slowing down a bit. “But don’t bring it up to him. He doesn’t like being reminded of his age.” She had that look on her face again. The one she’d had when Hat Kid had asked about the guest room. 30 wasn’t even that old. Hat Kid was pretty sure Peony was about 30 too. Mu had asked, and upon Peony’s reply, she’d announced that Peony was really old. Peony had given her a noogie for that.

“I guess he doesn’t like people saying he’s old.” Hat Kid forced herself to smile, channeling her inner Mu.

“Something like that.” Cookie laughed. It sounded more genuine this time, allowing Hat Kid to relax a little.

“So…Are you the cook here or something?” She asked. Even if Cookie was feeling better, it was probably best to change the subject anyway.

“I am. Someone has to make sure Snatcher eats something other than bacon.” Cookie said with a wry smile.

“Are you his mom?” The only reason Hat Kid could think of for why Cookie would want to keep track of what Snatcher ate was if she was his mom. Well, maybe that wasn’t the only reason. Peony worried about what Hat Kid, Bow, and Mu ate. But that was because she was taking care of them. Was Cookie taking care of Snatcher?

Several expressions flashed across Cookie’s face, too fast for Hat Kid to notice all of them. Then Cookie began to laugh.

“Oh no, honey. I’m not,” she said, her voice going soft. “I’m the royal cook, that’s all.”

Hat Kid was about to continue down the ‘ _why do you care what he eats_ ’ path when what Cookie had said hit her.

“Wait, Snatcher is royalty?!”

Cookie laughed again. “He sure is.”

“But…Aren’t princes supposed to be charming?” In all the stories she’d read, the princes were handsome and charming and just…Not Snatcher. Hat Kid couldn’t wrap her head around it.

“He can be charming.” Cookie tried to sound offended, but she was starting to giggle again. Hat Kid gave her an incredulous look. Cookie laughed even harder.

“What?” Hat Kid demanded, stamping her foot.

“I’m not laughing at you, honey.” Cookie assured her. “You’re right, he’s not much like a fairytale prince.”

“Thank you.” Hat Kid huffed, folding her arms.

“Let’s get you to the kitchen now.” Cookie let out another small giggle, pushing Hat Kid along.

The castle kitchens were about what she would have expected from the kitchen in a castle in that they were absolutely massive. There were counters and stoves and ovens everywhere, as well as a huge pantry filled with all kinds of spices and dried goods. Hat Kid spent a good few minutes running around and looking and touching everything. Cookie followed behind her, trying to keep her from touching anything too dangerous.

“There’s so much food here!” Hat Kid squealed, pointing excitedly to all the food in the pantry. “I’ve never seen so much food in my life!!!”

“Well, we’ve got a whole castle to feed.” Cookie laughed weakly, gently pulling Hat Kid away from climbing the shelves. Hat Kid wriggled in her grasp, still trying to get free so she could explore and touch everything.  Thankfully her attention was diverted when the kitchen door burst open and a hoard of Subconites came flooding in.

“Miss Cookie! We’re hungry!” They said.

“You’re in luck, I was just about to cook something for Hat Kid here,” Cookie replied, putting Hat Kid down. “Honey, would you mind waiting with them while I cook?” She had a desperate sort of look in her eyes. She couldn’t wrangle Hat Kid **and** the Subconites at the same time.

“Okay…” Hat Kid pouted a bit, but went and sat with the Subconites.

“Thank you, dear.” Cookie said before turning away and starting on the food she’d promised them.

Hat Kid turned her attention to the Subconites, her expression serious and determined.

“So. Snatcher’s a prince.”

“Yep!” They said.

“He sure is!”

“But he’s so…” Hat Kid trailed off, wincing.

“Aw, the boss isn’t so bad.” A Subconite said. “He’s one of those, whatchamacallits.”

“Tsundere?” Another supplied.

“Yeah! That!”

“What does that mean?” Hat Kid asked, frowning. She’d heard the word before, but she couldn’t remember where.

“It means he’s mean to people he cares about to hide his feelings.” A Subconite said with what was probably a big grin. It sounded like they were grinning.

“That’s weird.” It honestly kind of sounded like Mu, but Hat Kid wasn’t about to say it. Wheels were starting to turn in her mind. If Snatcher was anything like Mu, there was some reason why he was acting this way. If she could figure out the reason why he was such a butt, she could help him get better!

That was when Hat Kid decided that she and Snatcher were going to be BFFs and there was absolutely nothing anyone could do to stop her.

“What does Snatcher eat?” Hat Kid asked, turning back to the Subconites with determination in her eyes. The first step to becoming friends was to give him food. That had worked with Mu so it had to work with Snatcher.

“We don’t know.” The Subconites shrugged. “He doesn’t eat with us.”

“Who does he eat with?”

“Nobody. The boss doesn’t eat.”

“He doesn’t?” Hat Kid’s eyes widened. Was he _actually_ a ghost? Was he **_dead_**?!

“Oh, yes he does.” Cookie interjected. “He just decides not to until I make him.”

“Why would he not want to eat?” Hat Kid frowned.

“That’s…a complicated question.” Cookie’s tail curled around her leg. “Anyway, I’ve got your food, honey.” She set a bowl of mac and cheese down in front of Hat Kid. Hat Kid’s eyes widened once more, this time in awe. Steam rose from the bowl, allowing the sweet and cheesy scent to slip into Hat Kid’s nose. Her mouth watered.

“Don’t eat it too quickly,” Cookie warned her. “It’s hot.”

Hat Kid hardly noticed as Cookie presented the Subconites with a large plate of tiny hot dogs wrapped in pastry dough. Giving Snatcher food could wait, she decided. Right now…She needed to savor this mac and cheese.


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat Kid makes some bacon with Cookie and learns about a section of the castle she's not allowed to go in.

While Hat Kid and the Subconites ate, DJ Grooves and the Conductor entered the kitchen, also in search of food. The Conductor was still sulking a bit, although he seemed in slightly better spirits. He leaned against one of the massive islands that housed the burners while Grooves continued on. His feathers were all puffed up and he was grumbling to himself.

“Darlin’, do we still have some of that apple pie from the other day?” Grooves asked Cookie, beginning to rummage through the pantry. The pantry was big enough that he disappeared inside. His voice echoed a bit from within. Hat Kid craned her neck to try and see what he was doing. Some of the shelves in the pantry were pretty high up. She didn’t think Grooves would be able to reach them. Not without a stool, that was.

“There’s still a piece left.” Cookie replied. She was keeping a close eye on the Conductor to make sure he didn’t start drinking in front of the children. She’d locked up all the alcohol in the liquor cabinet at the back of the pantry, but he was a destructive force all his own.

“Hey!” Hat Kid sprung up, going over to tug on the Conductor’s sleeve. “What does Snatcher eat?”

“What does he eat?” The Conductor frowned. “Hey, Grooves, what **does** the spook eat?”

“Beats me.” Grooves’ voice came from the back of the pantry. There was some shuffling and scraping as he pulled up a stool to reach the wrapped apple pie on a higher shelf.

“He likes bacon.” Cookie supplied, since she was the one who actually gave Snatcher food.

“Bacon…” Hat Kid nodded thoughtfully, looking around the kitchen. The burners were at a height suitable for an average-sized adult, so if she wanted to cook bacon she’d probably have to get a stool or something. There were pans hung up along a wall, all black and cast iron and shiny. She could use those to cook with. And she could see some spatulas in a little container on a counter.

“Why’re you asking what the boss likes to eat?” A Subconite asked, in the middle of stuffing food into the hole in the head of their cloak.

“I’m gonna make him food.” Hat Kid announced, hands on her hips.

“By yourself?” Cookie frowned, drifting closer to her.

“Yeah!” Hat Kid gave her a big smile. She could definitely do it. It would be fine. She’d cooked back at Peony’s place a ton! Granted, she’d also **burned** a lot of food, but bacon couldn’t be that hard to make.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, darling?” Grooves appeared from the pantry, the pie held in front of him. It was hard to tell due to his sunglasses, but Hat Kid was almost certain he was frowning.

“You could get yourself hurt, lassie.” The Conductor agreed. As he spoke, he snatched the pie out of Grooves’ hands and returned to where he’d been standing against the island holding the center burners. He nibbled on the pie, crumbs getting all over the front of his jacket and spilling onto the floor. Cookie let out a small huff of irritation. She’d just swept that morning.

“I’ll be fine!” Hat Kid puffed up in indignation. “I’ve cooked before!”

“I’m not doubting you, honey.” Cookie reassured her, returning her attention to Hat Kid. “It’s just that these are very big burners.” She gestured to the burners as if to prove her point. They were big, Hat Kid had to admit that. Far bigger than the burners on Peony’s stove at home.

“Why don’t we help you?” Cookie suggested, glancing pointedly back at the Conductor and Grooves. Both froze where they stood, huddled against the counter with the pie tin between them. “I think we could all use something to do.”

Hat Kid considered this for a moment, her mind drifting back to afternoons spent in Peony’s kitchen, all four of them crammed into the tiny space together. She, Bow, and Mu had always liked to ‘help’ Peony cook, even though they never really helped. It usually ended with a food fight, often instigated by Mu or Hat Kid. Eyeing the Conductor and Grooves, she wondered if she could instigate a food fight with them.

“Yeah! That sounds fun!” She finally said.  

“Wonderful!” Cookie clapped her paws together. “Let’s all wash our hands and we can get started.”

The Conductor and Grooves quickly shoved the rest of the pie into their respective mouths before discarding the tin in a trashcan beside the pantry door. As soon as they’d gotten rid of the tin, they rushed to the sink in the back left corner to wash their hands, lest Cookie scold them. The sink itself was as massive as everything else in the kitchen. There were a few dishes at the bottom of the sink that needed to be washed, but those could wait.

“You too, dear.” Cookie gently nudged Hat Kid toward the sink.

“I was gonna!” Hat Kid replied indignantly before stomping over to wash her hands. Cookie laughed to herself and went to fetch the stools. After the incident, she’d begun to require a stool to be able to cook and wash dishes. Luckily they’d had some laying around. Which was good, since none of them could leave Subcon Forest.

Once they’d all washed their hands to Cookie’s satisfaction, she pulled up a few stools for herself, Hat Kid, and the Conductor. Grooves didn’t need one because of his platforms, something he took great pleasure in teasing the Conductor about.

“Oh, darling, I think you’re shrinking in your old age,” he said, patting the top of the Conductor’s hat.

"Don't you patronize me, Grooves!" The Conductor snapped, swatting Grooves' hand away.

"Play nice you two," Cookie warned them. She'd already gotten out the pan and greased it up before putting it on one of the kitchen's massive burners.

"So...Bacon?" Hat Kid asked. She'd pilfered a chef's hat and apron from a drawer, although they were far too big for her. Her top hat and cloak rested on the table near the Subconites.

"Yes, bacon." Cookie smiled warmly at her. "I'll go fetch the meat from the refrigerator." She hopped off her stool and went to fetch the strips from the fridge. Since everything had happened, she'd been forced to hunt for food in the forest to get the meat for Snatcher's bacon. Because of this, she tried not to give him bacon too often, saving it for when he was in a foul mood. She thought this was a good enough occasion. He wasn't exactly delighted to have Hat Kid present.

Hat Kid bounced on her stool, watching the pan with its sizzling oil. Well, it wasn't sizzling yet. But it would be soon, she knew that much. She could feel the heat coming off the pan. She was starting to get excited now.

"Don't lean in too far, lassie," the Conductor said, his voice taking on a surprisingly gentle tone as he pulled her back.

"I'm not gonna get hurt," Hat Kid huffed.

"You don't know that," the Conductor said. "It's a pan with hot oil in it! You could get burned!"

Hat Kid folded her arms, pouting a bit. She wasn't a baby. They didn't need to treat her like one.

"I'm sorry, darling, he's got a bit of a fathering instinct," Grooves stifled a giggle.

"Alright! I've got the bacon!" Cookie returned, holding a bundle of wax paper that smelled distinctly porcine.

"Awesome!" Hat Kid grinned, gripping her spatula tightly.

"Excuse me, dear." Cookie shifted Hat Kid and the Conductor's stools a bit so she could get her own in between them. She laid the wax paper on the counter, opening the bundle and drawing out a few long strips of bacon. Carefully, she laid three strips down on the surface of the pan. As soon as the meat hit the oil, the air was filled with the familiar hissing and crackling.

"So, when do I flip it?" Hat Kid asked, peering curiously down at the pan.

"I'll tell you, don't worry," Cookie said. She didn't entirely like the idea of allowing Hat Kid to cook near hot oil, but surely it was fine since she was supervising her. Grooves and the Conductor watched intently as the two of them worked. They both found it fascinating to watch Cookie cook. She moved with such purpose and ease. It was almost enchanting.

And so, under Cookie's guidance, Hat Kid cooked 9 strips of bacon, flipping them every time Cookie told her it was time. She was rather proud of herself when she saw the completed bacon. It looked even better than Peony's!

"It looks so good!" She squealed, hopping up and down on her stool.

"It certainly does," Cookie agreed. "You did a wonderful job."

"The Conductor always burns his bacon." Grooves grinned at the Conductor over his shades. The Conductor grumbled a few curses, swatting at Grooves' shoulder.

"That only happened twice," he snarled. "I haven't burned it in ages!" Once more, his voice lacked any real venom.

"I know, and I'm very proud of you."

"I'm gonna go take it to Snatcher!" Hat Kid hopped off the stool, reaching to take the plate from Cookie. Unfortunately, Cookie held it out of her reach.

"I'm...not sure that's a good idea, dear," she said. "He's in his room right now."

"So?"

"The spook doesn't like being disturbed when he's in his room," the Conductor said. It was hard to miss the irritation in his voice. Like a parent talking about their unruly teenager.

"Exactly," Cookie continued. "Snatcher doesn't like people going into his room. Especially not strangers."

"But I just wanna give him food!" Hat Kid protested.

"I know, and I'm sure he'll appreciate it very much," Cookie said. "But you can't go into his room. I'll take this to him and tell him it was from you." She left the room too quickly for Hat Kid to stop her, leaving the young girl dumbfounded. The Subconites had left halfway through their cooking session, so it was just her and the birds.

"This is dumb," Hat Kid repeated, kicking a stool.

"I'm sorry, darling," Grooves said gently, putting a 'hand' on Hat Kid's shoulder.

"You'd think the spook would've grown out of this," the Conductor said. "He's 30! He shouldn't be holing up in his room and moping like some kind of emo teenager!" Grumbling to himself, he began dragging the stools to the closet they were usually kept in.

"He has a lot on his plate, you know that." Grooves turned his attention to the Conductor. "I think he's allowed a little bit of moping now and again."

"It's not like he's alone in all this!" The Conductor slammed the closet door open. "He doesn't have to do the whole lone hero thing!"

"What do you mean, 'he's not alone in all this'?" Hat Kid asked. This argument had briefly taken her mind off of her anger at not being allowed into Snatcher's room.

Almost immediately, the Conductor and Grooves froze, as if just remembering that Hat Kid was still in the room with them. For a moment or two, everything was silent, save for the occasional sizzle and pop as the pan cooled.

“We were cursed,” Grooves finally said.

“Cursed?” Hat Kid’s eyes widened. “How? What happened?”

"It's...a long story," Grooves said slowly, looking uncomfortably away from her. He pressed himself against the center island as the Conductor had when first entering the kitchen, shoulders hunched.  

"That's what Cookie said too! Why won't you guys talk about it?" Hat Kid demanded, stamping her foot.

"It's not our story to tell, lass," the Conductor said. His voice lacked all the fire it had previously possessed. His shoulders slumped and he quietly slid the stools into the closet before closing the door.

"But I wanna know what's going on!" Hat Kid said. She was so tired of adults not telling her things. She wanted to know what was going on. She didn't want to be in the dark anymore.

"Why don't you ask him, then?" Grooves suggested.

“I…” Hat Kid trailed off, frowning. That actually was a pretty good point.

“But what if he doesn’t tell me?” She asked.

“Then at least you tried.” The Conductor shrugged wearily. Grooves separated himself from the island to stand beside the Conductor, holding his hand. They left without a word, leaving Hat Kid alone.

She lingered for a bit longer, considering what the best way to ask Snatcher would be. He’d already proven himself to be a bit of a jerk, so it was perfectly possible he just wouldn’t tell her. But she needed to ask. She needed to know. With this resolve, she too left the kitchen. She was going to find out what had happened here.

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came from teentinyhatkid on Tumblr. Check out their work!


End file.
